Doing the Dash

"Somewhere between the beginning and the end, that's where I am in my journey."

~ Terrence Howard

Are we not all in that same place; in the middle of the journey, somewhere between the beginning and the end? Or at least, don't we all hope that we are in the middle? Perhaps, if in your elder years you may feel that you are closer to the end of the journey. But of course no one knows for certain.

We just know we are somewhere on the dash. The dash is the mark which lies between our birth date and the date of death. Recently, the oldest man in world died at age 113. When he was 70 did he believe, know and behave like he had 43 more years to live?

In a few weeks, I will turn a year older. What I do with my dash matters to me. Whether in the middle of the journey or near the end, I want the words I write and the stories I tell, to honor my ancestors and give hope to children. Words and stories live on long after we are gone. They become the legacy we leave behind. So I ask myself, “What legacy do you want leave?”

My prayer and vision is that it will be said that I told truth: even when it was not popular or convenient. It is my hope that my truth helped heal or inspire someone else. If my willingness to disclose my experiences, both those in the valley and on the mountaintop, enables another to let go past pain or forge ahead with greater courage, then I would consider my life well lived.

My mentor, Baba Jamal Koram, has often posed the question, “For what purpose do you tell the story?” He pushes me to examine my intentions and reflect on the impact the story will have on the receiver. Often I have grapple with how much to disclose; who will be affected; and how relevant what I have to say is to those who will receive it. Truth telling just for truth-telling sake is not acceptable. I have a responsibility to be responsible.

Wisdom does not simply happen by being on the planet for a certain period of time. Maya Angelou said, "Most people don't grow up. Most people age.” With the dawn of a new year on my journey, I pray that I have grown-up just a little bit more. For me, growing up involves getting wiser because of the valley experiences and not in spite of them. As I move further down the dash, my desire is to have the courage to tell the truth and the wisdom to know when to tell it.

Tell a Story

Today we have endless and instant ways of communicating with each other. We can IM, text, fax, email and call. You can give a report on every moment of your day via blogs and social networking sites. Your message can be sent in a nano second to persons all around the world. Yet are we really connected? Are we really making connections? Are these technologically advanced methods of communicating effective in building relationships, understanding human frailties or solving problems?

I believe we must not lose face-to-face communication. Most importantly, we must get back to telling stories.

In her book, Sisters of the Yam: Black Women & Self Recovery, author bell hooks writes, “In the years before television, folks talked to one another. Conversation and storytelling were important locations for sharing information about the self, for healing.” She continues, “. . . for the telling of our stories enables us to name our pain, our suffering and to seek healing.”

Often as a child, my mother told me a story about being in kindergarten and overhearing a teacher talking about her, “She is really pretty to be so d-a-r-k.” This story not only told of my mother’s early experience with racism, but it was for me, a reminder that my mother was once a vulnerable child. (An obvious fact often overlooked by me especially in my teenaged years.) Hearing this story also made me believe my mother could possibly understand me and my battles in school. After hearing her tale, I then felt I could trust her with my own stories of vulnerability.

Storytelling reconnects us to our past tragedies and triumphs but also points the way to our future. Clyde W. Ford, author of We Can All Get along: 50 Steps You Can Take to Help End Racism, was once asked about how to combat intraracial violence plaguing so many communities. His answer, “Tell them a good story.” Ford understands that when you tell stories of heroes and heroines who overcame tremendous difficulties the listeners begins to think they too may be capable of facing the obstacles in their life. Ford believes that even when faced with the relentless monsters of hunger, poverty, injustice and racism, people can have hope for the future when they hear stories, especial tales of people like them, linked to them through history and heritage.

As a storyteller I have seen first-hand the tremendous transformative power of this art form. You do not have to look far in your own life to see it as well. Think of how storytelling is used in religious circle to inspire the congregation. Think of how political leaders use stories to persuade.

Let us put down our blackberries, PDAs, laptops, for a short wile and tell a story.