ENGAGED HEART

Storytelling is often perceived as frivolous entertainment for children. Busting this myth is a joy of mine. The best way I know how to dispel this notion, is to take storytelling into arenas where it is not often found.

Case in point: In a few weeks I will be performing at the Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence  "Resilience on the Riverfront Transforming Trauma" Conference.  After my performance I will facilitate a workshop on how to use storytelling as a tool to transform trauma.

The conference attendees are trauma informed social service providers. My aim is to give them steps to incorporate storytelling in their practice. Ultimately, my desire is to have these providers discover how aiding their clients in crafting stories can help their clients to reveal deeper truths about themselves and uncover previously unknown strengths, such as resiliency and courage.

My heart really gets pumping when I introduce a new audience to the transformative power of storytelling. When my heart is highly engaged in this manner, it is proof positive that I am on mission.

A short while ago, I revised my artist mission statement after reading Making Your Life As An Artist. Here is what I wrote:

"Words are how I metabolize life. The by-product of that metabolism is stories, songs and poetry that helps me and my audience make sense out of the senseless, heal from unimaginable pain, and choose love again, and again, and one more again."

I would love to hear what your personal mission is. Comment below on what gets your heart full engaged. Have you figured out how to carry out that mission? Please share.

Four Hats Thriving Artist Wear

Want to be an accomplished artist? Wear these four hats.

THE ARTIST
To be an artist you must make art. Sounds like an obtuse statement; but you may be surprised at how many artists do not spend regular, consistent time creating. Here is how to ensure that you make art:

• Schedule it. We make time for things that we plan to make time for. Put your art making time on your calendar. 
• Go on Artist Dates. Julian Cameron in her brilliant book, The Artist Way, "The Artist Date is a once a week, festive,  solo expedition to explore that interest you." Carving out this time fires up your imagination which is what every artist needs to create.

THE ADVOCATE

Be a promoter and defender of your craft. Be active in your community of artists. Serve on the board for your state art council or join organizations dedicated to your art form. Your service to these organizations will enable you to:

• Stay abreast of happenings in your industry. 
• Be a part of a community. So often working as an artist can feel very isolating.
• Be of service. You have to give to get. 

THE AUTHORITY
Share information about what you know best: how you create art. The public loves to hear about how artists do what they do. What inspires you? What is your creative process? Who do you admire in your field? Share these insights on your social media timelines. By sharing, you position yourself as knowledgeable (which you are!) and you become a resource.

THE AUTHOR
Publish what you know. (You really do know a great deal!) Even if writing is not your gift,  you can publish. For example, if you are a photographer you could publish some of your pictures. If you are a dancer, you could share your audition horror stories.  Today there are a plethora of ways to get a byline, such as starting a blog or writing your own e-book.

Wear those four hats and you will create a fulfilling creative artist's life.

Purpose Economy

"Each of us has within us a gift to give.  Your gift is a unique set of talents, skills and abilities, which were given to you by the Creator to respond to a need in the Universe. It is your contribution. In a word, your contribution is your PURPOSE."

So begins my book, Journey to Purpose: A Simple Guide to Discovering Your Life Purpose.  My goal in writing this book in 2004 was to share the tools I used to discover my purpose. 

A decade later, I am hearing more and more about how the economy is shifting from an information based to purpose focused economy.  As Millennials become a larger part of the workforce, greater attention is given to finding a career that satisfies a need greater than simply acquiring wealth. People are seeking personal growth and experience in their work and want to be involved in work that benefits the whole, as well as the individual.

Long gone are the days where you get a job with a company, remain there for decades, and retire with a pension.  While that was certainly the model of the Baby Boomers, the Millennials have no such model, and regard that model as a complete illusion; and for good reason.  Graduating with mountains of student debt and experiencing periods of unemployment that can easily span several months and some time even years, few workers believe in patriarchal employer offering salvation.

More and more people are wanting the 8 to 10 hours spent at their jobs to mean something.  Aaron Hurst, author of Purpose Economy writes, “We believe in a more humane world where by better understanding our purpose we are able to unite to better solve the world’s problems.”

Imagine a society where the majority of us are making a living doing what we love and feel passionate about. Imagine a society where most are seeking work that enhances relationships and builds community. Do you believe such a society is in the realm of possibility? Do you want to be a part of such a world? Do you know your purpose?

If you are seeking to know what your purpose is, I encourage you to get my book. If you want a free excerpt email me. For more information about the shift to Purpose Economy, check out this video:

Making Your Life As An Artist

Occasionally, I come across a tool that helps me as storyteller or as a business owner or as a human being.  Rarely do I find one that helps with all of the above. Until now...

Making Your Life As An Artist, a book by Andrew Simonet, has value to me as an artist, entrepreneur and human. If it has value to me, it may have value to others, so I must share.

Making Your Life As An Artist is a concise, clear and simple guide for artists seeking to have a sustainable and balanced life. (Two primary goals of mine.)

[If you already heard enough and know you want this book, download the ebook version absolutely free here.]

Sustainable Artist Life

Simonet writes, "Sustainable means your life can work over the long term."

I set out as an artist to carve a life for my daughter and myself where we were not simply surviving but thriving.  This book validated my perspective as a full-time artist. From the beginning until today, I encounter so many artists who have a starving mentality and work ethic.

"You have to do free gigs until you build a reputation then you can charge." I rejected this well-meaning advice I got when I first started as storyteller 21 years ago.

Coming from a decade-long career in the for-profit world, working for free, was alien to me.  I set out to study, train, research and practice until I had skills that were worthy of remuneration.  Then I sought out gigs that could compensate me in an equitable way.  My first gig was at Borders Bookstore and I was paid in books (a valuable commodity for any storyteller).

Balanced Life

Simonet encourages you to "have things in your life other than work." One of my many epiphanies while reading this book was realizing I am always working.  My work is so enjoyable to me I don't know how to turn it off some times.  My work is so rewarding I don't even realize I am working.

This book helped me see the value in real down time.

Your Art & Your Career are Not The Same

This statement is the other AHA moment I had.  "Your career is not your work: your career supports your work," Simonet purports.  To further clarify this distinction, he encourages you to write out separate goals you want to achieve personally, professionally and artistically.

What an eye-opening exercise!

Don't Starve. Make Art.

If you want to be a prolific artist...
If you want an art career that provides financial security...
If you want to live an artist's life that is full and balanced...

GET THIS BOOK

The Path to Love

Virtually every personality assessment I have ever done, shows that words are important to me. Recently, I read the book The 5 Love Languages. That book revealed to me that my primary love language is words of affirmations. Simply put: I need words to fill up my love tank.

Conversely, how I am most injured is through words. When someone does not keep their word to me in big matters (fidelity in a relationship) or small matters (being on time), it is unsettling to me. It can make me feel like the rug has been pulled from beneath me because words are my foundation. Words are how I metabolize my life. If I digest words that are unhealthy, I feel unsettled at my core.


When I am unsettled at my core, I do what many humans do when threaten, I see only two options: fight or flight. What I am coming to realize is that there is a third option and this third option will call upon me to gain greater insight into who I am. This third option may enable me to reach a higher level of spirituality.

In the book Conversations with God, it discusses creating higher and a higher version of you, as the way to the path of enlightenment. I need to create a version of me that is comfortable expressing my vulnerability. That is my third option.

I want to create a version of me that is willing to be courageous enough to tell others: Who I am; and what I want. I want a version of me that tells this truth in manner that is not derived from anger (which is a mask for fear); but rather extending from a place of wanting to be clear and truthful. Instead of “How dare you do XYZ to me?!” and “I will punish you by any means necessary.” I want to have the courage to say, “When you did XYZ, it made me feel disrespected and dispensable.” And “At my core, I know you respect me, so help me align these two incongruent experiences with you.”

The former approach makes me feel right and powerful. The latter makes me feel human.

Years of therapy has certainly given me the knowledge about mirroring, empathetic statements and other effective communication tools. Despite this knowledge, my degree in communications and my years working as a spoken work artist, it was not until recently that I had the epiphany that I am not very good at expressing who I am and what I want. I have fallen into a pattern of expressing what I will not allow; and what I am capable of doing if one crosses that line. The two modes of expressions may seem similar from a distance; but upon closer inspection, I can see that one stems from love and the other from fear. I want to create a higher version of me that chooses the path to love.

Love Yourself

“You cannot give away what you don’t have.” Are you familiar with that old adage? I often have to remind myself of this truth. How am I to be generous, patient and kind to others, when I find that I deny myself, am self-critical and try to use negative reinforcement to motivate myself?


“Your dress size is a clear indication that you do not need that ice cream.” This statement serves to motivate me to make healthy food choices. A more effective self-talk would be: “I lovingly choose foods that help me maintain a healthy lifestyle.”

Charity truly does begin at home. My mission to use story to empower others to think critically, choose wisely and believe fervently in their ability to succeed must begin with me. So I must ask myself, “What stories are you telling yourself?” “Are the words you speak to yourself inspiring and empowering?”

To motivate myself to maintain my four-day-a-week exercise regiment, I remind myself of how far I have come in my physical rehabilitation, since my near-fatal car accident in August 2009. This story is far more encouraging than berating myself about my dress size.

That inner critic is an enemy to many people. If most people were to broadcast their inner voice, undoubtedly, it would be a barrage of negative self-talk. It is my strong belief that such self-sabotaging talk has absolutely no value. In fact, I would purport that negative self-talk is the major contributor to low self-esteem and a major obstacle to obtaining goals.

If you want to begin to silence that inner critic, spend just a few minutes at the start of your day speaking loving, affirming words to yourself, while looking in a mirror. If you need help with writing your daily affirmation, check out the book, You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay. It contains powerful, loving affirmations for every area of your life: relationships, work and health.

Start each day loving yourself and you will find you have so much more love to give to others.

Elevator Speech

Do you have your "Elevator Speech" on the ready, to be delivered at any minute?

An elevator speech is a short, concise statement of who you are, and what you want. If you have a business, your elevator speech would include what your product or service is and what value it has to your customers. You should be able to deliver your speech in the time it takes to ride an elevator (estimated between 30 seconds and two minutes).

Here is my speech, "I am TAHIRA, a storyteller. My mission is to use story to inspire and empower others to think critically, choice wisely, and believe fervently in their ability to succeed."

Luck is defined as opportunity that meets preparation. If the person who could deliver all your dreams, got on an elevator with you and you had that elevator ride to deliver that speech. Could you do it? What would you say?

For tips on writing your Elevator Speech, check out my YouTube Video

below.

Out of the Valley

"I've had so many rainbows in my clouds." ~Maya Angelou

My last post was nearly a year ago. In that post, (and in the many of those immediately preceding it), I wrote a great deal about a valley experience. It thrills me to report that I am out of the valley. It is equally thrilling to share that I am so grateful for all that happened down in the valley.

What brought me to the valley was a near-fatal car accident, which was soon followed by an abrupt ending to a love affair. What kept me in the valley was my deepest desire to learn all that the valley had to teach me, so I might rise from it better, wiser, stronger.

So here I am. Without a doubt, I am better, wiser and stronger. My greatest lesson is that the Creator answers prayers.

One prayer was: "Show me who this man really is." After the prayer was done, I pledged not to turn my head at the parts I did not like; and promised to do what needs to be done, if he turns out to be someone who needs to be eradicated from my life. Within days, all I needed to know was revealed and I ended the relationship.

So here I am on the mountaintop. The scenery is very different. Some of the people who were with me when I descended into the valley are not here now. I also ended a few friendships that clearly hindered my ascent, realizing that to soar higher, my flock had to change.

Making these choices was not easy. Choosing this path was not popular. Taking the steps needed to climb out of the valley was not pretty or graceful. Nonetheless it was necessary.

"Right may not be expected. It may not be profitable. But it will satisfy the soul."

~ Maya Angelou

Unexpected Company in the Valley

A dear sister-friend came to my mind the other day. It had been some time since we had talked. Refusing to make excuses about why I should not call in that instant and rejecting the notion that a text would be a quicker, less intrusive way to reach out; I picked up the phone and called her.

When I asked how she was doing, she did not give me that standard, "Fine." Instead, she answered the question honestly and courageously. She told me she was in a healing crisis of the heart.

Applauding her willing willingness to answer with such bravery, I briefly let her in on my own healing of the heart. My desire in sharing that story was to let her know she was not alone. My other motive was the hope that my tale about my grieving process might aid her in some way.

Our conversation was brief. I suggested she read the poem, The Invitation. The book (by the same name) gave me such comfort in the earlier stages of my loss. It gave me permission to fall.

Today, I sent a quick to my friend to update her on my progress. I share that note with you below, for the same reason.

Seven months into my descent. Some days it feels like I am gliding on the wind and there are beautiful, lushish, green landscapes all about. Other days it feels like I am diving head-first into a jutting cliff.

Recycling

What if I could take a bad experience and recycling it?

Everything on the Journey has value. (Labeling experiences good or bad may result in me overlooking that value. For the sake of this exercise, I will use the term bad in this post.)

Here is what I imagine I could do with the pain someone caused me . . .

I'm gonna take all the bad things you did to me and take them down to the recycling center.

I'm gonna put them in an odorless trash bag so they do not pollute the air during the transport.

I'M GONNA UNLOAD IT ALL.

Perhaps your betrayal will become a bicycle some little boy will ride and feel free.

Perhaps your lies will become a light bulb that will help a lost child find her way home.

Perhaps the tears you caused will become a tiara some little girl clings to as she dreams of being a princess.

Yeah, I'm gonna take all those bad things you did to me and turn them into something useful; something worth having; something worth sharing.

You see, that's what storytellers do. We take all the bad stuff that has happened and use it to teach, to inspire and to heal.

Chasing Rainbows

Below is a post I wrote several months ago but did not publish because I thought is needed some polishing. It was written when I was in a different space than I am now. Hope and faith filled me to the brim, then. Now, hope and faith is just returning to my heart as I ascend from the valley.

Reading my words from a time I was hopeful and faithful is like listening to a wise friend. It feels like Grace has been found me again.

Don't let them steal your rainbow, Queen.

~ My King


After a rainstorm passes over, I often run outside to look for rainbows. Lately, there have been quite a few thunderstorms and I have been treated to the most brilliant arches of color.

Are you are rainbow chaser?

In the midst of language such as, the worse recession since the depression and economic crisis, it may be hard to stay on the path of high vibration, positive energy and awaken consciousness. Everywhere you turn people are talking about how bad it is.

Whatever the balance in your financial portfolio; however challenging your current economic situation; I would bet the farm that if you sat down and wrote a list of the things you do have, you would find you have much to be grateful for.

I am not advocating ignoring any challenges you may be faced with now. What I am promoting is: before you go into action attempting to tackle those challenges, make a gratitude list. You may find that after making that list, you have a clearer mind and subsequently, a better plan of action may unfold.

If you need a daily inspirational message to keep you motivated, I recommend Notes from the Universe. If you want to a book to keep you lifted, I would suggest, Ask and It is Given.

Of course, I hope you find the post of my blog helpful :-).

Keep looking for the rainbows!

Punctionality on the Journey

Actually, TAHIRA, everyone is reasonable.

They just have their own reasons.

And usually it's worth trying to learn what they are to maximize chances of a full-blown, 60's style, psychedelic lovefest. Which is always a good thing.

Groovy you,
The Universe

The above message is from Notes from the Universe. "Everyone is reasonable they just have their own reasons." Hmmmmm.

When I read this message, the first thing I thought was how unreasonable I think it is to be chronically late. As a person who prides herself on being on time, I find people who are habitually late very annoying.

Do they have their own reasons for being late? Absolutely!

Is it worth trying to learn what those reasons are to maximize chances of a fully blown, 60's style, psychedelic lovefest? My ego says, "Hell no!"


My spirit is having a hard time getting into the conversation.

Functionality is about integrity for me. Of course, each of us may fall short on occasion, but when you have a reputation for rarely being on time that begs me to ask, "Whatsup with that?"

Are you seeking attention? Does it stem from some deep-root desire to self-sabotage?

For me, to honor your word is to be honored in this world. Now I will admit that I can be a bit obsessive about being on time. I also know that any obsession is unhealthy.

My punctuality obsession stems from my childhood. (Most obsession start there ;-) My mother demanded it. My father dismissed it.

The result: I brooded and pouted when my mother insisted on me being on time. I brooded and pouted when my father was rarely on time.

Am I missing out on some groovy experience by not allowing others to continually make me wait?

I read somewhere once, that when you are waiting you should see it as an opportunity to practice patience. Unfortunately, patience is another character flaw of mine.

Life is Easy

TAHIRA, it's supposed to be easy. Everything is supposed to be easy. Everything is easy. You live in a dream world. You're surrounded by illusions. And the illusions change when you change your thinking!

Tell yourself it's easy. Tell yourself often. Make it a mantra. Eat, sleep, and breathe it. And your life shall be transformed.

It's supposed to be easy,
The Universe

The message above was emailed to me. I get personalized daily messages to remind me of life's magic and my divinity from Notes from the Universe. Each morning I look forward to reading the message of the day. The morning I got this message I had been feeling overwhelmed by the many demands in my life. I was able to shift my energy from frustration to inspiration by creating a post to my blog. Shortly thereafter however, I felt my vibration shifting back into low gear.

When I read this message I decide to make, "It's easy," my mantra for the day. Now, a week later I find myself still using this mantra.

When I look at the long to-do list I tell myself, "It's easy."

When I stare at a blank piece of paper hoping some words will spill forth from me and onto the page to share with others, I tell myself, "It's easy."

When I look at my daughter and see her blossoming into a young lady that soon will be on her own, I tell myself, "It's easy."

When I think about my amazing relationship with my King but begin to wonder how we will manage to find time for each other and our children, I tell myself "It's easy."

"It's easy."

"It's easy."

"It's easy."

If you need a daily lift, sign-up for Notes from the Universe. If you know of any other inspiring daily message service, have your own mantra/affirmation/prayer you have found helpful, post a comment and let me know. I could use all the help I can get ;-).

Conspiracy Theory

Business. Creative work. Parenting. Personal life. There is so much I want and need to do in each of these areas. At times the weight of it all feels crippling.

Then I remember an undeniable truth: the Universe is always conspiring to do me good. For evidence of this truth, I do not have to look far. My recent healing is proof beyond a reasonable doubt.

Yet there are still times I look at my to-do list and I am overwhelmed. I begin to think about how I should have completed some of the tasks long before or how I should have more resources to get done what is on the list. I think to myself,

"I should do more, be more, have more."

Then I remember something I heard Iyanla Vanzant say, "Never should on yourself."

Recently I had an epiphany about my work as a writer versus my work as a storyteller. Writing is so cerebral to me. Writing gets me inside my head. It's mind-work. If my mind is busy, unsettled, writing clears out the clutter.

Storytelling is different. Storytelling gets me inside my heart. Storytelling is Spirit-work. If my spirit needs lifting, storytelling gives me the elevation I need.

Writing and storytelling are essential to my wholeness. One no more important than the other. Yet it is essential that I have a good balance of both in order to prevent feeling overwhelmed by that infamous to-do list.

BOTH writing and storytelling are ever-present reminders that the Universe is conspiring on my behalf, every minute of every day.

Now I better get back to that long to do list!

What if you are Wrong?

Do you carry a memory of past hurts and disappointments? Is there someone you need to forgive? Forgiveness is about releasing your need for revenge. Forgiveness is about freeing yourself. Forgiveness is NOT about sanctioning the behavior of the offender.

Surely all of us have been harmed or disappointed by another. The key is what you DO with those feelings of pain and disappointments. Do you hold on to the memory, believing by doing so you are insuring that the person responsible is held accountable? I have heard many spiritual teachers describe this type of behavior: “Taking poison and expecting someone else to get sick.”

Few things are more poisonous than holding on to past hurts. It impedes your progress on the journey. It as if you shackle your feet with cement blocks and then attempt to run. Clearly, there is a better method of taking the journey.

Iyanla Vanzant describes the Law of Forgiveness in her book, Acts of Faith, as: “Infusing the mind with natural healthy ideas that take away the darkness and bring in the light.”

When you bring in the light, you will find peace and happiness. When you hold on to hurts, you may certainly feel RIGHT and JUST, but you rarely feel peaceful or happy. I pose to you the question popularized by Dr. Phil, “Would you rather be right or happy?”

Still not convinced?

Consider these questions: What if you are wrong? What if the reasons why you think, the person acted in the way that you, are all wrong? What if it did not even happen the way you remembered it? What if the person’s motivations were different from what you thought they were?

I can imagine you may not want to explore these questions. You may even have feelings of anger at the mere suggestions these questions pose. Let me give you an example from my own life of what came up for me when I allowed myself to explore these questions.

For years I resented my father for not keeping his word with me. I can remember sitting and waiting for him for hours to take me somewhere only to find out he made other plans, usually with someone else, and that someone else was usually a woman.

From that experience I began to believe that all men (not just my father) lacked integrity, were unreliable and unfaithful. I subsequently found that to be true in my relationships with men (surprise, surprise.) I would recount this story over and over again. That story was my proof that men were unreliable.

When I dug deeper and began to explore this story from the perspective of what if I am wrong? I discovered that my dad might tell this story differently.


First of all, he would say that he likely never made a firm commitment to do what I asked. And that would be true. He often replied to my request by saying, “We’ll see.”

Secondly, my father always believed I could take care of myself. He thought I always demonstrated that I was capable, which is also true. I always had a contingency plan. If he did not come through, I had a back up plan ready to be executed.

So, my father’s story goes something like this, “My daughter made requests of me that I sometimes could not honor but she was OK with it because she always had other options.”

The reason he may think I was OK with his behavior is because I NEVER told him otherwise. My reasoning for not letting him know I was hurt or disappointed was that I did not want him to know he had the power to injury me.

So you see, it just like my Pop-Pop always told me, “There are three sides to every story: yours, mine and the truth.”

So I ask you, “What if you are wrong?”


Excerpt from my book, Journey to Purpose: Simple Guide to Discovering Your Life Purpose ©2007 T. Dorsey.

Hard Conversations

"The hardest conversations are the most important ones." India Arie wrote those words in the liner notes of her album, Testimony: Volume 2 Love and Politics. India's words often connect with me at a perfect intersection of time/space. I read those words a short time after having a very difficult conversation with the someone I love. India's words made me take a hard look at myself and how I show up in my life, especially how I choose to show up in relationships during difficult times. What I discovered during this self-reflection is outlined below.

Hard conversations make you want to run away because you just can't stand to be in the company of the other. In that instant, it is most important to stay.

You do not stay to continue a conflict but you stay maybe to stand up for yourself or perhaps for someone else.

You stay so maybe your fear does not win out.

Stay, in order that the one you love may understand that even when you do not like him, do not agree with him - you still love him.

Stay so that even when you do not feel heard; you can show him you do know how to listen.

Stay so that your past hurts no longer hold you hostage.

These hard conversations may make you feel like your head is going to explode. In that instant, it most important to find your breath.

Breathe so you may remember one of the Four Agreements: Don't Take Anything Personally.

Breathe so you may remember that your buttons are being pushed because you allow the wires to continue to be intact.

Breathe so you may remember that the other is always your mirror reflecting back where you need to grow.

Breathe so you may remember that Spirit resides in the breath. When Spirit is present anger, judgment, impatience dissipates.

The hard conversations are the most important conversations because they offer us an opportunity to remember who we really are. The measure of who you are can be found in these hard conversations. They can be the barometer of how big or small you are in these moments. So how big are YOU?