Friday, May 22, 2009

Calm Seas on the Journey

On the surface of the sea there are moments when it is calm and moments when it is turbulent. However, deep down in the sea, all is constantly still.

That deep stillness and calm is what my aim is on my journey in life. Understanding that there will be times when on the surface things are rough, I strive to maintain a deep inner knowing that all is really well within.

The spiritual tools which help me to sustain this inner knowing are journaling meditation/prayer, visualization and music. If I am consistently utilizing my tools, when the rough seas come (And they always do. That’s just a part of this life journey.) Then the turbulence doesn’t last for long.

For instance, in the spring of 2008 I tested positive for a dis-ease that could potentially be with me for the rest of my life. When I got the news, I was walking along the river with a dear friend enjoying an amazing spring day. I was feeling vibrant, alive, healthy, strong, loved and blessed. Everything felt right with the world. Then that call came.

Nothing the medical professional was telling me made sense to me. She informed me that this dis-ease was incurable yet because I have no symptoms, there was nothing I needed to do differently. She told me there are 25 million people in this country who have this dis-ease but do not know it. My thought was, “If they do not know they have this dis-ease, than how does SHE know?”

As she is talking, everything inside me is saying, “This is NOT so. This simply is NOT so.”

After that call ended, through choked words, I told my friend about the news I had just received. On the outside I felt like I wanted to crumble. But inside, something kept saying “It ain’t so.”

I began to sing a song I wrote about letting the river wash over me. In the song, I called out the names of my ancestors who in the face of what seemed insurmountable odds, they not only overcame but triumphed:

Imhotep, Nefertti
Queen Nzinga, Hannibal
Denmark Vesey
Phyllis Wheatly
Malcolm and Martin

In the days following that news, there were certainly moments that on the surface things felt turbulent. However, that inner voice kept telling me that the dis-ease is not so. My wholeness is what was true. That voice kept getting louder and louder. In the depth of my soul, I knew I was healthy and well.

I knew that if I continued to use my spiritual tools I would continue to have the experience of optimum health.

So if that was indeed my truth, why was I having this experience? What was it I am supposed to remember? In the book, Conversation with God. it purports that every experience comes to remind you of Who You Really are?

Whenever I am experiencing any kind of physical challenge I refer to Louise Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life. In that book she charts an array of dis-eases and provides the root mental/spiritual/emotional cause of that dis-ease along with an affirmation to assist in the elimination of that root cause and beginning the healing process.

Hay cites the root cause the dis-ease I was diagnosed having was guilt. This information resonated with me. I certainly felt feelings of guilt at various times in my life. At certain times, my feelings of guilt have almost been crippling.

So now armed with this information, I knew what I needed to do:

o Continue utilizing my spiritual tools
o Release my guilt
o Affirm my healing
o Claim wholeness and wellness in every moment

I envisioned that the next time I got my annual exam my healing would be complete and I would not have this dis-ease. That was not only my vision but what I knew to be already true.

Just this week I went in for my annual exam. The usual battery of tests were done. Lab work was submitted and the results would be in at the end of the week.

Immediately after the doctor left the office, I began to get dress. I began praying, "Thank you for my healing. Thank you for my healing."

Yesterday I got the call. The lab work was in. The result . . .

I tested NEGATIVE.

All is calm on the surface and deep within me. For now.


Queen said...

Simply put....Powerful!
A true affirmation of Living life using the gifts the Creator provides and applying the Survival Skill of LISTENING!

In the stillness you receive. If you then listen intently, your spirit will reach toward just the right book, on just the right page, or you will see just the right words while on a drive, or hear just the right words from a friend. For All that We Need is Here and Provided. We just need to Listen and Apply!

Blessings to you for sharing your journey. I shall Listen.

T. Dorsey said...

Queen, I deeply appreciate your attention.


An amazing whole-istic testimony. Thank you for sharing.

Debbie said...

Wow Tra... You really scared me. Keep on bended knee. Prayer works and Faith knows no limits !!!

mommasita4 said...

My first reaction was. "why didn't she share this diagnosis with me?" As someone who loves you and who has always supported you I felt hurt. In reading further, I understood your journey and I’m glad everything turned out ok. You are a very spiritual person and you have this need to g it alone. Your meditation, journaling, etc got you through.

On another subject, I am sometimes hurt by your attitude of being direct in your responses to me. I think you are aware of this but consider it part of your personality and I can accept it or too bad. I know I have to deal with it in my own way and I intend to do just that.

Love you and I always will

dwteller said...

The sun rises and the sun sets on our journey and your story affirms that the journey is worth it - for the rich experiences that it brings - for the struggles - for the moments of victory - for the sanctity of something greater than us having our interests planned and the results keeping us hopeful. Your sharing is a testimony of faith. Hold onto it. Share it when you can because it will help someone else to hold on. And keep journaling for you know the meaning behind the song that says, "My soul looks back and wonders, how I got over."

Diane Wms.

dwteller said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
T. Dorsey said...


Well said! Somebody definitely prayed me over