Saturday, April 10, 2010

Unexpected Company in the Valley

A dear sister-friend came to my mind the other day. It had been some time since we had talked. Refusing to make excuses about why I should not call in that instant and rejecting the notion that a text would be a quicker, less intrusive way to reach out; I picked up the phone and called her.

When I asked how she was doing, she did not give me that standard, "Fine." Instead, she answered the question honestly and courageously. She told me she was in a healing crisis of the heart.

Applauding her willing willingness to answer with such bravery, I briefly let her in on my own healing of the heart. My desire in sharing that story was to let her know she was not alone. My other motive was the hope that my tale about my grieving process might aid her in some way.

Our conversation was brief. I suggested she read the poem, The Invitation. The book (by the same name) gave me such comfort in the earlier stages of my loss. It gave me permission to fall.

Today, I sent a quick to my friend to update her on my progress. I share that note with you below, for the same reason.

Seven months into my descent. Some days it feels like I am gliding on the wind and there are beautiful, lushish, green landscapes all about. Other days it feels like I am diving head-first into a jutting cliff.


Anonymous said...

I'm not sure I understand your post. Are you speaking of loss as it pertains to your ability to get around and do for yourself? Are you speaking of being dependent on others? Or are you talking about the loss of companionship as in a relationship? Either way I know you are a strong Black woman who can overcome any adversity

karima said...

Recently, I deliberately spent one week not accepting "Fine" as the answer to "How you doin'?" During that same week, if anyone asked how I was doing, I gave them an honest answer. What a week that was! Doors and windows of communication were opened and waves of compassion and empathy were experienced. My personhood was enhanced and new levels of understanding were approached and reached. I found company in the valley and company on the hillsides and mountaintops. I made new acquaintances and deepened some friendships. WHEW! It was quite a week and I still feel the thrill of peeling back new layers of SELF-understanding.

T. Dorsey said...

@Karima: That's awesome! Keep it up!

T. Dorsey said...

@ Anonymous: The post is about the loss of a relationship. Thanks for the encouragement.