Changing My Flock

I heard it said that in 15 seconds you can tell how successful a person will be by asking them two questions:

• What books do you read?
• What people do you spend the most time with?

My replies to these questions were very revealing to me. As for the first question, my book shelves are lined with personal development books that have helped me immensely, in every area of my life. As for the second question, I always thought myself to be a good judge of character and considered my closest friends to be decent, kind people, with strong spiritual foundations. Upon further inspection, I discovered that my closest circle of friends were not on a similar path as I.

 

Here’s what I mean. When I listed my goals and dreams on one side of the paper and listed my friends on the other, there was no connection. No one in my flock of friends had accomplished the things I wanted for myself nor were they on a path headed in that direction. Now, it is not necessary that everyone in your circle have the same aspirations; however, there certainly should be someone in your flock who can provide insight, advice or information on how to get where you want to go.

 

Being on purpose, serving others and building an empire by combining those two aspirations, has been my path for nearly two decades. There must be someone in my flock that is flying ahead of me who can say, “This way.” Or someone flying next to me in the pack who can say, “We can do this.”

 

This epiphany led me to end some relationships. Iyanla Vanzant once said, “People come into your life for a reason, season or lifetime.” I ended those relationships that were clearly seasonal. Relationships, in which, what we shared together did not measure up against the barometer of what we could accomplish together. I ended relationships, in which, my instincts told me for some time, that our paths were not in alignment, despite the affections we shared between us.

 

Recently, I read an excerpt from a book called, The Power of Story: Change your Destiny in Business and in Life. The premise of the book is to examine your life, as if it were a story that you tell to yourself. Upon examination of that story, you may decide to make changes. Upon examination of my story, I decided to make changes in the supporting characters to ensure that my story would unfold according to my vision and purpose.

 

What is your story? Do the characters in your life support the vision and purpose you have for your life? Are there changes you need to make to the characters or setting? What books do you read? What people do you spend your time with?

 

Elevator Speech

Do you have your "Elevator Speech" on the ready, to be delivered at any minute?

An elevator speech is a short, concise statement of who you are, and what you want. If you have a business, your elevator speech would include what your product or service is and what value it has to your customers. You should be able to deliver your speech in the time it takes to ride an elevator (estimated between 30 seconds and two minutes).

Here is my speech, "I am TAHIRA, a storyteller. My mission is to use story to inspire and empower others to think critically, choice wisely, and believe fervently in their ability to succeed."

Luck is defined as opportunity that meets preparation. If the person who could deliver all your dreams, got on an elevator with you and you had that elevator ride to deliver that speech. Could you do it? What would you say?

For tips on writing your Elevator Speech, check out my YouTube Video

below.

A New Woman

One Saturday afternoon, the television was tuned to a video marathon of R&B tunes from the mid 1980s and early 1990s. Just the backdrop I love, as I put some TLC in my home.

As I swept, mopped and dusted, I crooned out the lyrics to songs from artists, such as Anita Baker, Luther Vandross and Teddy Pendergrass. Memories began to flood my mind. Howard University 1985: Club Philly meeting about South Africa Apartheid; February 1989: at my father’s bedside in his last moments; September 1992: my baby girl is born.

For the most part, these memories bring me smiles. Then, as I looked back in my mind’s eye at the woman I used to be, I had an epiphany: I am not that woman anymore. It is not simply a matter of maturation. It is a fundamental shift in WHO I AM.

Sure, many of the values I had in my twenties remain today: integrity, commitment to justice, and love for family. Now, my hopes and dreams are so different. Once I dreamed of forever and ever love. Now I dream of loving higher and higher versions of myself.

If someone was to knock on my door today, and announce that I could realize all the dreams of the woman I was at 28 years old, my reply would be, “No thank you, that woman does not live here anymore.”

Tell me. What would you say to an offer of realizing your dreams of long ago?

Out of the Valley

"I've had so many rainbows in my clouds." ~Maya Angelou

My last post was nearly a year ago. In that post, (and in the many of those immediately preceding it), I wrote a great deal about a valley experience. It thrills me to report that I am out of the valley. It is equally thrilling to share that I am so grateful for all that happened down in the valley.

What brought me to the valley was a near-fatal car accident, which was soon followed by an abrupt ending to a love affair. What kept me in the valley was my deepest desire to learn all that the valley had to teach me, so I might rise from it better, wiser, stronger.

So here I am. Without a doubt, I am better, wiser and stronger. My greatest lesson is that the Creator answers prayers.

One prayer was: "Show me who this man really is." After the prayer was done, I pledged not to turn my head at the parts I did not like; and promised to do what needs to be done, if he turns out to be someone who needs to be eradicated from my life. Within days, all I needed to know was revealed and I ended the relationship.

So here I am on the mountaintop. The scenery is very different. Some of the people who were with me when I descended into the valley are not here now. I also ended a few friendships that clearly hindered my ascent, realizing that to soar higher, my flock had to change.

Making these choices was not easy. Choosing this path was not popular. Taking the steps needed to climb out of the valley was not pretty or graceful. Nonetheless it was necessary.

"Right may not be expected. It may not be profitable. But it will satisfy the soul."

~ Maya Angelou

Unexpected Company in the Valley

A dear sister-friend came to my mind the other day. It had been some time since we had talked. Refusing to make excuses about why I should not call in that instant and rejecting the notion that a text would be a quicker, less intrusive way to reach out; I picked up the phone and called her.

When I asked how she was doing, she did not give me that standard, "Fine." Instead, she answered the question honestly and courageously. She told me she was in a healing crisis of the heart.

Applauding her willing willingness to answer with such bravery, I briefly let her in on my own healing of the heart. My desire in sharing that story was to let her know she was not alone. My other motive was the hope that my tale about my grieving process might aid her in some way.

Our conversation was brief. I suggested she read the poem, The Invitation. The book (by the same name) gave me such comfort in the earlier stages of my loss. It gave me permission to fall.

Today, I sent a quick to my friend to update her on my progress. I share that note with you below, for the same reason.

Seven months into my descent. Some days it feels like I am gliding on the wind and there are beautiful, lushish, green landscapes all about. Other days it feels like I am diving head-first into a jutting cliff.

Recycling

What if I could take a bad experience and recycling it?

Everything on the Journey has value. (Labeling experiences good or bad may result in me overlooking that value. For the sake of this exercise, I will use the term bad in this post.)

Here is what I imagine I could do with the pain someone caused me . . .

I'm gonna take all the bad things you did to me and take them down to the recycling center.

I'm gonna put them in an odorless trash bag so they do not pollute the air during the transport.

I'M GONNA UNLOAD IT ALL.

Perhaps your betrayal will become a bicycle some little boy will ride and feel free.

Perhaps your lies will become a light bulb that will help a lost child find her way home.

Perhaps the tears you caused will become a tiara some little girl clings to as she dreams of being a princess.

Yeah, I'm gonna take all those bad things you did to me and turn them into something useful; something worth having; something worth sharing.

You see, that's what storytellers do. We take all the bad stuff that has happened and use it to teach, to inspire and to heal.

Chasing Rainbows

Below is a post I wrote several months ago but did not publish because I thought is needed some polishing. It was written when I was in a different space than I am now. Hope and faith filled me to the brim, then. Now, hope and faith is just returning to my heart as I ascend from the valley.

Reading my words from a time I was hopeful and faithful is like listening to a wise friend. It feels like Grace has been found me again.

Don't let them steal your rainbow, Queen.

~ My King


After a rainstorm passes over, I often run outside to look for rainbows. Lately, there have been quite a few thunderstorms and I have been treated to the most brilliant arches of color.

Are you are rainbow chaser?

In the midst of language such as, the worse recession since the depression and economic crisis, it may be hard to stay on the path of high vibration, positive energy and awaken consciousness. Everywhere you turn people are talking about how bad it is.

Whatever the balance in your financial portfolio; however challenging your current economic situation; I would bet the farm that if you sat down and wrote a list of the things you do have, you would find you have much to be grateful for.

I am not advocating ignoring any challenges you may be faced with now. What I am promoting is: before you go into action attempting to tackle those challenges, make a gratitude list. You may find that after making that list, you have a clearer mind and subsequently, a better plan of action may unfold.

If you need a daily inspirational message to keep you motivated, I recommend Notes from the Universe. If you want to a book to keep you lifted, I would suggest, Ask and It is Given.

Of course, I hope you find the post of my blog helpful :-).

Keep looking for the rainbows!