ENGAGED HEART

Storytelling is often perceived as frivolous entertainment for children. Busting this myth is a joy of mine. The best way I know how to dispel this notion, is to take storytelling into arenas where it is not often found.

Case in point: In a few weeks I will be performing at the Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence  "Resilience on the Riverfront Transforming Trauma" Conference.  After my performance I will facilitate a workshop on how to use storytelling as a tool to transform trauma.

The conference attendees are trauma informed social service providers. My aim is to give them steps to incorporate storytelling in their practice. Ultimately, my desire is to have these providers discover how aiding their clients in crafting stories can help their clients to reveal deeper truths about themselves and uncover previously unknown strengths, such as resiliency and courage.

My heart really gets pumping when I introduce a new audience to the transformative power of storytelling. When my heart is highly engaged in this manner, it is proof positive that I am on mission.

A short while ago, I revised my artist mission statement after reading Making Your Life As An Artist. Here is what I wrote:

"Words are how I metabolize life. The by-product of that metabolism is stories, songs and poetry that helps me and my audience make sense out of the senseless, heal from unimaginable pain, and choose love again, and again, and one more again."

I would love to hear what your personal mission is. Comment below on what gets your heart full engaged. Have you figured out how to carry out that mission? Please share.

Four Hats Thriving Artist Wear

Want to be an accomplished artist? Wear these four hats.

THE ARTIST
To be an artist you must make art. Sounds like an obtuse statement; but you may be surprised at how many artists do not spend regular, consistent time creating. Here is how to ensure that you make art:

• Schedule it. We make time for things that we plan to make time for. Put your art making time on your calendar. 
• Go on Artist Dates. Julian Cameron in her brilliant book, The Artist Way, "The Artist Date is a once a week, festive,  solo expedition to explore that interest you." Carving out this time fires up your imagination which is what every artist needs to create.

THE ADVOCATE

Be a promoter and defender of your craft. Be active in your community of artists. Serve on the board for your state art council or join organizations dedicated to your art form. Your service to these organizations will enable you to:

• Stay abreast of happenings in your industry. 
• Be a part of a community. So often working as an artist can feel very isolating.
• Be of service. You have to give to get. 

THE AUTHORITY
Share information about what you know best: how you create art. The public loves to hear about how artists do what they do. What inspires you? What is your creative process? Who do you admire in your field? Share these insights on your social media timelines. By sharing, you position yourself as knowledgeable (which you are!) and you become a resource.

THE AUTHOR
Publish what you know. (You really do know a great deal!) Even if writing is not your gift,  you can publish. For example, if you are a photographer you could publish some of your pictures. If you are a dancer, you could share your audition horror stories.  Today there are a plethora of ways to get a byline, such as starting a blog or writing your own e-book.

Wear those four hats and you will create a fulfilling creative artist's life.

Purpose Economy

"Each of us has within us a gift to give.  Your gift is a unique set of talents, skills and abilities, which were given to you by the Creator to respond to a need in the Universe. It is your contribution. In a word, your contribution is your PURPOSE."

So begins my book, Journey to Purpose: A Simple Guide to Discovering Your Life Purpose.  My goal in writing this book in 2004 was to share the tools I used to discover my purpose. 

A decade later, I am hearing more and more about how the economy is shifting from an information based to purpose focused economy.  As Millennials become a larger part of the workforce, greater attention is given to finding a career that satisfies a need greater than simply acquiring wealth. People are seeking personal growth and experience in their work and want to be involved in work that benefits the whole, as well as the individual.

Long gone are the days where you get a job with a company, remain there for decades, and retire with a pension.  While that was certainly the model of the Baby Boomers, the Millennials have no such model, and regard that model as a complete illusion; and for good reason.  Graduating with mountains of student debt and experiencing periods of unemployment that can easily span several months and some time even years, few workers believe in patriarchal employer offering salvation.

More and more people are wanting the 8 to 10 hours spent at their jobs to mean something.  Aaron Hurst, author of Purpose Economy writes, “We believe in a more humane world where by better understanding our purpose we are able to unite to better solve the world’s problems.”

Imagine a society where the majority of us are making a living doing what we love and feel passionate about. Imagine a society where most are seeking work that enhances relationships and builds community. Do you believe such a society is in the realm of possibility? Do you want to be a part of such a world? Do you know your purpose?

If you are seeking to know what your purpose is, I encourage you to get my book. If you want a free excerpt email me. For more information about the shift to Purpose Economy, check out this video:

Doing the Dash

"Somewhere between the beginning and the end, that's where I am in my journey."

~ Terrence Howard

Are we not all in that same place; in the middle of the journey, somewhere between the beginning and the end? Or at least, don't we all hope that we are in the middle? Perhaps, if in your elder years you may feel that you are closer to the end of the journey. But of course no one knows for certain.

We just know we are somewhere on the dash. The dash is the mark which lies between our birth date and the date of death. Recently, the oldest man in world died at age 113. When he was 70 did he believe, know and behave like he had 43 more years to live?

In a few weeks, I will turn a year older. What I do with my dash matters to me. Whether in the middle of the journey or near the end, I want the words I write and the stories I tell, to honor my ancestors and give hope to children. Words and stories live on long after we are gone. They become the legacy we leave behind. So I ask myself, “What legacy do you want leave?”

My prayer and vision is that it will be said that I told truth: even when it was not popular or convenient. It is my hope that my truth helped heal or inspire someone else. If my willingness to disclose my experiences, both those in the valley and on the mountaintop, enables another to let go past pain or forge ahead with greater courage, then I would consider my life well lived.

My mentor, Baba Jamal Koram, has often posed the question, “For what purpose do you tell the story?” He pushes me to examine my intentions and reflect on the impact the story will have on the receiver. Often I have grapple with how much to disclose; who will be affected; and how relevant what I have to say is to those who will receive it. Truth telling just for truth-telling sake is not acceptable. I have a responsibility to be responsible.

Wisdom does not simply happen by being on the planet for a certain period of time. Maya Angelou said, "Most people don't grow up. Most people age.” With the dawn of a new year on my journey, I pray that I have grown-up just a little bit more. For me, growing up involves getting wiser because of the valley experiences and not in spite of them. As I move further down the dash, my desire is to have the courage to tell the truth and the wisdom to know when to tell it.

Changing My Flock

I heard it said that in 15 seconds you can tell how successful a person will be by asking them two questions:

• What books do you read?
• What people do you spend the most time with?

My replies to these questions were very revealing to me. As for the first question, my book shelves are lined with personal development books that have helped me immensely, in every area of my life. As for the second question, I always thought myself to be a good judge of character and considered my closest friends to be decent, kind people, with strong spiritual foundations. Upon further inspection, I discovered that my closest circle of friends were not on a similar path as I.

 

Here’s what I mean. When I listed my goals and dreams on one side of the paper and listed my friends on the other, there was no connection. No one in my flock of friends had accomplished the things I wanted for myself nor were they on a path headed in that direction. Now, it is not necessary that everyone in your circle have the same aspirations; however, there certainly should be someone in your flock who can provide insight, advice or information on how to get where you want to go.

 

Being on purpose, serving others and building an empire by combining those two aspirations, has been my path for nearly two decades. There must be someone in my flock that is flying ahead of me who can say, “This way.” Or someone flying next to me in the pack who can say, “We can do this.”

 

This epiphany led me to end some relationships. Iyanla Vanzant once said, “People come into your life for a reason, season or lifetime.” I ended those relationships that were clearly seasonal. Relationships, in which, what we shared together did not measure up against the barometer of what we could accomplish together. I ended relationships, in which, my instincts told me for some time, that our paths were not in alignment, despite the affections we shared between us.

 

Recently, I read an excerpt from a book called, The Power of Story: Change your Destiny in Business and in Life. The premise of the book is to examine your life, as if it were a story that you tell to yourself. Upon examination of that story, you may decide to make changes. Upon examination of my story, I decided to make changes in the supporting characters to ensure that my story would unfold according to my vision and purpose.

 

What is your story? Do the characters in your life support the vision and purpose you have for your life? Are there changes you need to make to the characters or setting? What books do you read? What people do you spend your time with?

 

Journey in Relationships

Best-selling author, motivational speaker, Iyanla Vanzant says that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Those coming into your life for a defined reason, I call Pit Stop Buddies. The seasonal folks, I referred to as Mile Marker Mates and those in for the long term are Lifelong Travelers. The purpose in identifying people in your life using these designations is to determine what role these relationships pay in your life journey. Are they there to teach you a specific lesson then move on? Are they there for a span of time? Are they there for a lifetime experience?

Pit Stop Buddies
It may be a chance meeting, divine synchronicity or as the saying goes, “Two ships that pass in the night.” These encounters happen relatively swiftly and while brief, they are intense. You feel some kind of connection to this person. You may connect in a way that makes you remark, “It feels like we have known each other forever.” It is not only in romantic relationship this type of synergy happens. You and the Pit Stop Buddy could be coworkers, neighbors or participants in similar activities. You hit it off right from the start; so much so, you may begin to think it would be hard to imagine your life without that person. Then the relationship ends as quickly as it began.

You may be left wondering what happened and why. The experience may feel like a roller coaster ride: exhilarating, exciting and . . . over in a flash. Although the Pit Stop Buddy entrance and exit are swift, s/he may leave an indelible mark on you. The swift ending may leave you feeling confused, betrayed or angry.

It is important to allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. Suppressing or denying your feelings can lead to a host of other challenges physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. A good tool to use to sort those feelings out is journaling.

Once you sort those feelings out it is also helpful to do some reflecting and introspection. What did the Pit Stop Buddy bring to your life? What lasting mark did s\he make? Did you learn something new about your self? Did you venture outside of your comfort zone and try something new? You may find it helpful to consider these questions while doing a meditation.

Mile Marker Mates
When you are traveling, there a mile markers along the way that indicate how far you have traveled and how many miles are remaining. For example, the marker may read, “2/12“ which indicates that the road you traveling on is 12 miles long and you have traveled 2 miles thus far. When you get to another road the count begins anew.

As you travel the journey of life, you encounter Mile Marker Mates who are in your life for a span of time. As you travel together, it feels right. It feels good. It is mutually beneficial. Then it ends.

The ending is not abrupt like with the Pit Stop Buddy. The relationship with the Mile Marker is one that runs its course. For example, you may have been close college buddies and once college is over you each go your separate ways to continue the next leg of you journey on different paths.

As much as it may be clear to both of you that it is time to part, it still may bring up difficult emotions. One or both of you may find it hard to accept that your respective journeys are taking you in different directions.

Lifelong Travelers
The Lifelong Traveler is on your journey for 20 years or more. Counted in this group may be your parents, children or siblings. It could also be your spouse, life partner or a childhood friendship that spans into adulthood. These folks have experience the depth and breadth of your journey. They were there for the valley and mountaintop experiences.

Do not be misled by the label however. Lifetime Travelers may at some point no longer be on your path. Of course, it could be the result of a death but it also could be that after two decades or more, the two of you head in different directions.

It is also important not to assume that Lifelong Travelers are better than Pit Stop Buddies or Mile Marker Mates. Conversations with God, the best-selling book by Neale Donald Walsch puts it this way,

“Try not to confuse longevity with a job well done. Remember, your job on the planet is not to see how long you can stay in a relationship. It’s to decide and experience Who You Really Are.”

When you know whether a person on your journey of life is a Pit Stop Buddy, Mile Marker or Lifetime Traveler, you can better experience Who You Really Are within that relationship. In all relationships, you are there to do inner work, to find your authentic self and live out your life journey on purpose.

Making Your Passion Profitable

Once you have found your life purpose, how do you stay true to it? What if living your life purpose does not enable you to make a living? How do you stay the course of the journey when your life purpose does not produce enough visible money to enable you to pay your bills?

Often people wonder how they can pursue their passion and meet their financial obligations with ease. One approach to achieving this goal is to begin doing what you are passionate about as a part-time venture while still maintaining your full time employment. Look for opportunities to free lance or do work on a contract basis. This way you test the waters instead of plunging headfirst.

Also, network with people already in the industry you want to enter. You can find out how others made their passion profitable. Do not be timid about asking others for advice. People like talking about their successes. You may also learn about opportunities you can take advantage of without ‘quitting your day job’ just yet.

As my business as a storyteller got more profitable, I stopped doing birthday parties, coffee houses and other small venues because the clients had limited funds and my work was shaping up to be more suitable for larger venues. At the time, I knew a budding storyteller and I passed those gigs on to her. Not only did she get an opportunity to make money at her passion, but also with a recommendation from me, clients who may not have given a newcomer a shot, were now ringing her phone.

Another approach to ensuring that your life purpose is profitable is to be certain not to narrowly define your life purpose. Brainstorm different ways you can do the work you love. Think about non-traditional avenues to pursue your passion. Explore unconventional methods. Let’s say your passion is to have your own therapy practice. If you define your purpose that narrowly (own my own therapy practice) then you limit the opportunities available to you. Define your purpose more broadly such as:

“My life purpose is to use my skills as a mental health practitioner to help couples and families live happier, healthier lives.”

Do you see how other avenues become possible with this broadly defined purpose? You could conduct workshops on parenting. You could write articles for industry publications. You could do weekend seminars on subjects related to families and relationships.

To assist you in defining your life purpose and to allow for maximum opportunities, you should write a mission statement. This statement should define what you want to do; for whom you want to do it; and why you want to do it. In our example above:

What = use my skills as a mental health practitioner
For whom = couples and families
Why = to help them live happier and healthier

Having a mission statement also gives you clarity about your life purpose. Your mission statement can be your beacon of light to help you stay the course on your journey to purpose.

To summarize, to make your passion profitable:

• Begin with a part-time venture
• Network to find out how others did it
• Look for unconventional methods
• Broadly define a mission statement of your purpose

Consistently apply these tactics. Stay positive. Keep the faith. Soon you will find that the profits begin to roll in.

Journey to . . . Life Purpose

Does each of us have a life purpose? Is there such a thing as right livelihood? ? What does it mean to live a purpose-driven life? Is it possible to love what you do and have others to pay you well to do it?

The first three questions may be too esoteric and your initial response to them may be “No.” The last question may seem more palatable. Yet, all four questions speak to the same desire. The desire is to live a life that is joyous and abundant in every area, especially in your career path. Is the age-old question posed to all children, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

In Paulo Coelho’s extraordinary classic novel, The Alchemist, he refers to this desire as your Personal Legend. Coelho describes your Personal Legend,

“It’s what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young knows what their Personal Legend is. At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their Personal Legend.”

For me, the “mysterious force” was not very mysterious but man it was powerful. My grandmother was that force. When I came to her bright-eyed and full of hope announcing, “I am going to be a poet when I grow up!” Her response was “You better grow up and get a job.”

As I worked my way through school, that force grew in it’s intensity and power as well-meaning teachers echoed my grandmother’s sentiments. Soon, I shifted my focus from creative writing to journalism: a more acceptable and respectable aspiration in the eyes of the grown-ups in my life.

All through college, I tried to convince myself that I wanted to be a journalist. While all along inside of me, a battle was raging as I longed to be more creative with my gift of writing.

After college, I landed a couple of respectful corporate positions largely due to my writing but far outside the world of journalism. The insurance industry is where I settled. The battle raging within me finally convinced me that journalism was not for me. But instead of returning to what I loved, I allowed myself to be shuttled into a career the way a farmer shuttles cattle into the stable. I simply followed the pack instead of following my heart. My focus became making a living rather than making a life.

A series of significant events transpired that finally got me back on track to pursuing my dream a being a creative writer. Those events were the death of my father, birth of my daughter and the disintegration of my marriage. The last two events happening within the same year was the proverbial straw that reignited my desire to live a meaningful life. A single mother and new homeowner, I quit my corporate job and became a full time professional storyteller and poet.

It’s funny that as children we simply follow our hearts and gravitate towards the activities that make us happy. When children think about the future there is little fear or worry. We believe we can have what ever we dream about. Until . . . some well-meaning grown-up who knows better steers us in a different direction or stop us all together.

Takeaways:

• You already know your life purpose/personal legend. If you are not sure what it is any more, spend time journaling about what you dreamt about as a child. You can spend time in quiet reflection answering the question, “What would I do if there was not chance I could fail?”

• The goal is to make a life not simply make a living. Ask yourself, “What do I enjoy doing even if I don’t get paid for it?”

• Don’t be dissuaded by the naysayer. When someone offers you advice on how you should live your life and that advice does not leave you feeling encouraged. Remember: Free advice is worth the price you pay.

To your success!