ENGAGED HEART

Storytelling is often perceived as frivolous entertainment for children. Busting this myth is a joy of mine. The best way I know how to dispel this notion, is to take storytelling into arenas where it is not often found.

Case in point: In a few weeks I will be performing at the Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence  "Resilience on the Riverfront Transforming Trauma" Conference.  After my performance I will facilitate a workshop on how to use storytelling as a tool to transform trauma.

The conference attendees are trauma informed social service providers. My aim is to give them steps to incorporate storytelling in their practice. Ultimately, my desire is to have these providers discover how aiding their clients in crafting stories can help their clients to reveal deeper truths about themselves and uncover previously unknown strengths, such as resiliency and courage.

My heart really gets pumping when I introduce a new audience to the transformative power of storytelling. When my heart is highly engaged in this manner, it is proof positive that I am on mission.

A short while ago, I revised my artist mission statement after reading Making Your Life As An Artist. Here is what I wrote:

"Words are how I metabolize life. The by-product of that metabolism is stories, songs and poetry that helps me and my audience make sense out of the senseless, heal from unimaginable pain, and choose love again, and again, and one more again."

I would love to hear what your personal mission is. Comment below on what gets your heart full engaged. Have you figured out how to carry out that mission? Please share.

Four Hats Thriving Artist Wear

Want to be an accomplished artist? Wear these four hats.

THE ARTIST
To be an artist you must make art. Sounds like an obtuse statement; but you may be surprised at how many artists do not spend regular, consistent time creating. Here is how to ensure that you make art:

• Schedule it. We make time for things that we plan to make time for. Put your art making time on your calendar. 
• Go on Artist Dates. Julian Cameron in her brilliant book, The Artist Way, "The Artist Date is a once a week, festive,  solo expedition to explore that interest you." Carving out this time fires up your imagination which is what every artist needs to create.

THE ADVOCATE

Be a promoter and defender of your craft. Be active in your community of artists. Serve on the board for your state art council or join organizations dedicated to your art form. Your service to these organizations will enable you to:

• Stay abreast of happenings in your industry. 
• Be a part of a community. So often working as an artist can feel very isolating.
• Be of service. You have to give to get. 

THE AUTHORITY
Share information about what you know best: how you create art. The public loves to hear about how artists do what they do. What inspires you? What is your creative process? Who do you admire in your field? Share these insights on your social media timelines. By sharing, you position yourself as knowledgeable (which you are!) and you become a resource.

THE AUTHOR
Publish what you know. (You really do know a great deal!) Even if writing is not your gift,  you can publish. For example, if you are a photographer you could publish some of your pictures. If you are a dancer, you could share your audition horror stories.  Today there are a plethora of ways to get a byline, such as starting a blog or writing your own e-book.

Wear those four hats and you will create a fulfilling creative artist's life.

Making Your Life As An Artist

Occasionally, I come across a tool that helps me as storyteller or as a business owner or as a human being.  Rarely do I find one that helps with all of the above. Until now...

Making Your Life As An Artist, a book by Andrew Simonet, has value to me as an artist, entrepreneur and human. If it has value to me, it may have value to others, so I must share.

Making Your Life As An Artist is a concise, clear and simple guide for artists seeking to have a sustainable and balanced life. (Two primary goals of mine.)

[If you already heard enough and know you want this book, download the ebook version absolutely free here.]

Sustainable Artist Life

Simonet writes, "Sustainable means your life can work over the long term."

I set out as an artist to carve a life for my daughter and myself where we were not simply surviving but thriving.  This book validated my perspective as a full-time artist. From the beginning until today, I encounter so many artists who have a starving mentality and work ethic.

"You have to do free gigs until you build a reputation then you can charge." I rejected this well-meaning advice I got when I first started as storyteller 21 years ago.

Coming from a decade-long career in the for-profit world, working for free, was alien to me.  I set out to study, train, research and practice until I had skills that were worthy of remuneration.  Then I sought out gigs that could compensate me in an equitable way.  My first gig was at Borders Bookstore and I was paid in books (a valuable commodity for any storyteller).

Balanced Life

Simonet encourages you to "have things in your life other than work." One of my many epiphanies while reading this book was realizing I am always working.  My work is so enjoyable to me I don't know how to turn it off some times.  My work is so rewarding I don't even realize I am working.

This book helped me see the value in real down time.

Your Art & Your Career are Not The Same

This statement is the other AHA moment I had.  "Your career is not your work: your career supports your work," Simonet purports.  To further clarify this distinction, he encourages you to write out separate goals you want to achieve personally, professionally and artistically.

What an eye-opening exercise!

Don't Starve. Make Art.

If you want to be a prolific artist...
If you want an art career that provides financial security...
If you want to live an artist's life that is full and balanced...

GET THIS BOOK

Doing the Dash

"Somewhere between the beginning and the end, that's where I am in my journey."

~ Terrence Howard

Are we not all in that same place; in the middle of the journey, somewhere between the beginning and the end? Or at least, don't we all hope that we are in the middle? Perhaps, if in your elder years you may feel that you are closer to the end of the journey. But of course no one knows for certain.

We just know we are somewhere on the dash. The dash is the mark which lies between our birth date and the date of death. Recently, the oldest man in world died at age 113. When he was 70 did he believe, know and behave like he had 43 more years to live?

In a few weeks, I will turn a year older. What I do with my dash matters to me. Whether in the middle of the journey or near the end, I want the words I write and the stories I tell, to honor my ancestors and give hope to children. Words and stories live on long after we are gone. They become the legacy we leave behind. So I ask myself, “What legacy do you want leave?”

My prayer and vision is that it will be said that I told truth: even when it was not popular or convenient. It is my hope that my truth helped heal or inspire someone else. If my willingness to disclose my experiences, both those in the valley and on the mountaintop, enables another to let go past pain or forge ahead with greater courage, then I would consider my life well lived.

My mentor, Baba Jamal Koram, has often posed the question, “For what purpose do you tell the story?” He pushes me to examine my intentions and reflect on the impact the story will have on the receiver. Often I have grapple with how much to disclose; who will be affected; and how relevant what I have to say is to those who will receive it. Truth telling just for truth-telling sake is not acceptable. I have a responsibility to be responsible.

Wisdom does not simply happen by being on the planet for a certain period of time. Maya Angelou said, "Most people don't grow up. Most people age.” With the dawn of a new year on my journey, I pray that I have grown-up just a little bit more. For me, growing up involves getting wiser because of the valley experiences and not in spite of them. As I move further down the dash, my desire is to have the courage to tell the truth and the wisdom to know when to tell it.

To Climb or Fly on the Journey

You can climb out of the valley stumbling and fumbling forward, with bleeding knuckles, scrapped knees and bruised feet, or you can fly. It really is all a choice. The choice is about what risks you are willing to take.

Climbing can certainly be safer. Depending on how long you have been in the valley, your wings may not seem to be in good condition. Your wings may be bent, bruised or even broken. However, the truth of the matter is, many do not even believe they have wings.

Flying out of the valley is literally a leap of faith. You must leap over your greatest fears, without any safety net. You must catapult yourself above the criticism and naysayers both external and internal, without any assurances that you will be successful.

Climb or fly? The choice is easy, right? Hardly. When given the choice many choose the former. Why? A common reason is that it feels like the secure choice. It is the choice many are most familiar. It is the choice most others will support. It is the choice many have been conditioned to accept by family and community.

On my journey, in some areas I made the choice to fly. Leaving a corporate job to become a professional storyteller would certainly be one of those flying moments. It was not a hard choice, despite being recently divorced, a mother of a toddler and a new homeowner. Everything unfolded in a Divine manner. Since taking flight, I have had no regrets. Certainly, I have had obstacles, disappointments and setback; however, I never looked backed or mourned the yesterdays.

In other areas, I have been far more fearful and cautious. In manners of the heart, I have wallowed in past hurts and disappointments. Much of my time has been spent examining where I have been; instead of where I am going. I cannot count the hours I have spent lamenting about who did what to whom; instead of celebrating the opportunity to now attract what I really wanted.

In a poem I wrote entitled, Sangin’ the Blues, I challenged myself to look at a broken heart from a new perspective. You can check out the poem below. In the meantime, if you have any suggestions on how I can sprout some wings, let me know.

Sangin’ the Blues

When the heart breaks,

It spits wide open.

Then all your dreams

All the things

You’ve been hopin’

Are now possible

And the possibilities

Are limitless.

So the next time

You are broken hearted

Put it to the test.

Look at it

As an opportunity

To do things differently.

Make room

For greater things.

Just see

What Spirit brings.

I affirm

You will find

A higher consciousness

That will bring you

Peace

Joy

And Bliss.

What do you have to lose

If I am wrong,

You can go on back to

Sangin’ the Blues.

Divinely Ordered Steps on the Journey

Lately, I have been extremely productive in various facets of my life: personal, business and spiritual. My plate has been pretty full. However, I have been able to maintain my center and make significant strives completing my long to-do list because I have been diligent about journaling each morning and doing walking meditations. As a result, I feel more focused and grounded during the day.

Journaling every day is easy for me. It’s a habit I established in my life at an extremely young age. However, a consistent meditation practice has been elusive for me at times.

Recently, Renee Colbert Gadson (my dear friend) and I made a pact to resume an exercise regiment. We acknowledged that physical wellness is an important element to achieving the goals in other areas of our life. We also agreed that the exercise program is not simply to lose weight or become fit but to help us maintain our spiritual focus, as well.

I decided that my regiment would include walking for 30 minutes. My intent was to start off slow and honor my body’s current limitations. Right behind my home is a track, so I made use of it. To be certain there was a spiritual component, I said an affirmation with each lap.

Lap One and Two
There is a great demand for my work as an artist and I am paid extremely well.

Lap Three and Four
All of my relationships are loving, healthy and fulfilling.

Lap Five and Six
Life is easy.

Caring for my teenaged daughter. Easy.
Balancing business and creativity. Easy.
Spending time with my King. Easy.
Spending time with my family. Easy.
Giving back to my community. Easy.

After the walk, I start my day. I am not just physically energized. I am mentally focused, emotionally connected and spiritually aligned.

Throughout the day, I get this overwhelming sense that the Divine really is conspiring to do me good.

For example, the other day I had an appointment that I totally forgot about. When I realized it, it was hours later. When I checked my messages, I was anticipating hearing irate messages from the woman I was supposed to meet with. Instead, she left a message informing me that she had to cancel and apologized for any inconvenience caused me.

Coincidence? I think not.

Life can be seen as a series of unrelated events that occur by happenstance. Life can also been seen as a conscious design stemming from, not simply positive thought, but from the awareness, understanding and knowledge that there is a Divine Presence operating in the Universe that is individualized as you.

I choose the latter as my truth. Besides, even if I am wrong, I would bet cash money that I am having waaaaay more fun than the folks in the other camp.

What if you are Wrong?

Do you carry a memory of past hurts and disappointments? Is there someone you need to forgive? Forgiveness is about releasing your need for revenge. Forgiveness is about freeing yourself. Forgiveness is NOT about sanctioning the behavior of the offender.

Surely all of us have been harmed or disappointed by another. The key is what you DO with those feelings of pain and disappointments. Do you hold on to the memory, believing by doing so you are insuring that the person responsible is held accountable? I have heard many spiritual teachers describe this type of behavior: “Taking poison and expecting someone else to get sick.”

Few things are more poisonous than holding on to past hurts. It impedes your progress on the journey. It as if you shackle your feet with cement blocks and then attempt to run. Clearly, there is a better method of taking the journey.

Iyanla Vanzant describes the Law of Forgiveness in her book, Acts of Faith, as: “Infusing the mind with natural healthy ideas that take away the darkness and bring in the light.”

When you bring in the light, you will find peace and happiness. When you hold on to hurts, you may certainly feel RIGHT and JUST, but you rarely feel peaceful or happy. I pose to you the question popularized by Dr. Phil, “Would you rather be right or happy?”

Still not convinced?

Consider these questions: What if you are wrong? What if the reasons why you think, the person acted in the way that you, are all wrong? What if it did not even happen the way you remembered it? What if the person’s motivations were different from what you thought they were?

I can imagine you may not want to explore these questions. You may even have feelings of anger at the mere suggestions these questions pose. Let me give you an example from my own life of what came up for me when I allowed myself to explore these questions.

For years I resented my father for not keeping his word with me. I can remember sitting and waiting for him for hours to take me somewhere only to find out he made other plans, usually with someone else, and that someone else was usually a woman.

From that experience I began to believe that all men (not just my father) lacked integrity, were unreliable and unfaithful. I subsequently found that to be true in my relationships with men (surprise, surprise.) I would recount this story over and over again. That story was my proof that men were unreliable.

When I dug deeper and began to explore this story from the perspective of what if I am wrong? I discovered that my dad might tell this story differently.


First of all, he would say that he likely never made a firm commitment to do what I asked. And that would be true. He often replied to my request by saying, “We’ll see.”

Secondly, my father always believed I could take care of myself. He thought I always demonstrated that I was capable, which is also true. I always had a contingency plan. If he did not come through, I had a back up plan ready to be executed.

So, my father’s story goes something like this, “My daughter made requests of me that I sometimes could not honor but she was OK with it because she always had other options.”

The reason he may think I was OK with his behavior is because I NEVER told him otherwise. My reasoning for not letting him know I was hurt or disappointed was that I did not want him to know he had the power to injury me.

So you see, it just like my Pop-Pop always told me, “There are three sides to every story: yours, mine and the truth.”

So I ask you, “What if you are wrong?”


Excerpt from my book, Journey to Purpose: Simple Guide to Discovering Your Life Purpose ©2007 T. Dorsey.

Parenting on the Journey

When your journey includes being a parent, you want to be the sign posts for your child's journey. You want to give warnings such as, "Danger up Ahead" and "Caution: Sharp Curves." You want to suggest better paths to take to get to the places of interests with greater ease. You want to provide Roadside Assistance service when your child gets stranded.

I am learning now that there comes a time when you have to allow your child to travel the journey alone. This realization came when I was repeatedly told by my child that she knows the way and has a plan. She clearly understands the directions I have given her. She has heard the warnings and has concluded that I am an alarmist. She is also convinced that the roads are significantly different now than they were when I may have traveled them.

Family, friends and professionals tell me it is time to step aside and allow her to follow the paths she chooses for herself. They tell me it is ok to be nearby in case she does decide to ask for my assistance but until then, I must put away my directions, signposts and travel tips. In the end, everyone is convinced that she will arrive at the places she desires.

I have to say; so far it has been a tough being on the sidelines. Feelings of hopelessness and fear sometimes overwhelm me. All I can do now is pray.

Enjoying the Journey

My sister and I were talking recently about how we each stress and worry about things even things we enjoy doing. We realize that when we obsess this way we deprive ourselves of all the good in the experience.

For example, my sister decided she was going to go on vacation this summer. Immediately after making that decision, she began worrying about how she will be able to afford it, how could she find somewhere within her budget and on and on.

Instead of visualizing the many places whe could go or how great it would feel to take time off from work she was stressing, worrying and obsessing. Her daughter pointed this negative behavior out to her and suggested she take a breath and enjoy the process. To begin, my sister could check out vacation spots on the web, cut out pictures of vacation spots from magazines, talk to coworkers about their recent vacations.

This technique of enjoying the process can also be aplied to every day activities as well. My sister has a rental property that she has been getting inquires about. She can choose to get overwhelmed by the many calls and numerous showings she has to do with prospective renters. She also can choose to feel good that she will be ale to offer a family a safe, beautiful, comfortable housing. She can choose to view the rental application process as an opportunity to meet different people which is something that has always brought her joy. She can choose to be grateful that she has many applicants to choose from increasing the chances she will find the right tenant for her property.

In sum, she can enjoy the process. It is not about pretending or stifling your real feelings. It is about really looking at what is before you and see clearly what is authentically.

When you change the way you look at a thing, the thing you look at changes. Every time. Guaranteed.

My Companion on the Journey

Writing is my spiritual companion on this Journey. In my valley experiences and during my mountain top highs, writing is there to sort things out for me. On the page is where I metabolize my life. It is not simply a recording of the Journey. At times, writing gives me the sign post for which way to travel. It is the warning sign for dangers ahead.

Writing rarely allows me to be stagnant. It moves me both figuratively and literally. Through writing, I am able to move pass anger to discover the authentic truth. I may start off complaining about who has done me wrong but writing will not let me stay there. Soon I uncover how I put myself in the position to be victimized.

When I am on top of the world, writing helps me appreciate the beauty of the landscape even more. Through writing I notice the brilliance of the colors on the mountain. Captured in the words on the page is how the bird's song on the mountain sounds harmonized.

I have even found parts of myself on the page that I did not know existed; some parts I wish never existed; and yet still other parts I thought were long lost but I found through my companion, writing. All of my fears are exposed on the page. Writing will not let me hide.

I can not imagine this Journey without writing. It has been there from the beginning. My writing as child was done in a diary with lock and key which is still within my reach at my bedside. As an adult it is done in colorful bound books that fill baskets all around my bedroom.

Writing is the best brand of therapy I know (and the cheapest). It holds my confidence. It is unrelenting when it has to be. Gentle when it needs to be.

The Legacy You Leave

What signifies a life well-lived? Are awards, certificates and trophies mounted on the wall symbols of a successful life? Are the years spent on a job the indications of the quality of your life? Is the number of mourners at your funeral the litmus test for lifetime achievement?

What yard stick do you use to measure the legacy of a life? In your elder years when you look back on your life, what will cause you to say, “I have achieved great things in my life.”? What will you point to as proof of your success?

What if you raised a child who grew up believing her dreams were achievable because you told that was so? What if you raised a child that had a compassion and commitment to help others because she learned how to love while on your lap?

What if your children turned out to be dedicated parents because they had you as an example? What if your children grew into adults who supported and encouraged each other because you instilled in them the importance of family unity?

Are these indicators of a legacy of love? Is that legacy of love not proof of a life well-lived? What if you had no children? Does that mean you have no legacy of love to leave? What is your measuring stick of a life?

Imagine you are to be honored at a ceremony for your lifetime achievements. Who would you want to attend the festivities? What would you want said about you? Imagine there will be a presentation at this ceremony that is to represent the span of life beginning with your early childhood memories. What would be included in this presentation?

Now don’t just imagine such a ceremony, write down what comes to mind as you visualize it. Make a guests list. Jot down the things that may be said by the attendees. Describe what that presentation of your life would include.

The purpose of this exercise is to reflect and examine not only how you see your journey of life thus far but also to define how you measure success and achievement. By completing this exercise, perhaps you will become more conscious about building a legacy.

Your Truth

"Say your truth - kindly, but fully and completely. Live your truth - gently, but totally and consistently. Change your truth easily and quickly when your experience brings you new clarity."
---- Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations with God


In my youth and now in years as a mature woman, it amazes me how many people are unwilling to speak their truth. What lies beneath this unwillingness is usually fear. Fear that you may hurt some one's feelings. Fear that people will not like you anymore. Fear that others may retaliate.

As a young person I had no difficulty speaking my truth. My challenge was saying my truth kindly. It felt right to me to tell my truth even if it meant it would injure another. With maturity, I learned to use my truth less as a sword and more as a shield. The truth shielded me from others because when I found myself in a situation that could cause me harm or harm to another, I easily and quickly spoke that truth. It takes courage to tell the truth whether in minor or major situations.

Minor Situations

Standing in line at the Starbuck's, there were only two people in front of me waiting to be served by the one attendant behind the counter. The man in the front of the line must have had a large order because the attendant was working busily for several minutes. Soon, another employee of Starbuck's came to the far end of the counter and struck up a conversation with the attendant behind the counter.

Clearly this conversation was causing the attendant to work slower and several more minutes went by. I could see on the faces of the two people in front of me that they noticed this delay, as well, but neither said a word. The two gave each other knowing glances but neither said anything to the attendant.

Past experience with similar situations told me that the two in front of me would more likely start complaining to each other rather than to say anything to the attendant. As kindly as I could and after taking a few deep breaths, I asked the two employees if they could please hold off their conversation until after we have been serviced. Obviously surprised by what I requested, they both apologized and ended their discussion. The line moved quickly thereafter.

How many times have you found yourself in a similar situation? Did you speak your truth? Did you instead express your frustration with sighs, gasps or snide comments to others? If you did speak up, were you kind? If you did not speak up at all, why not? What were you afraid of?

Major Situations

Ending a relationship is a major situation in which many people are unwilling to speak their truth. The quote from Conversations with God that I used in the opening is very powerful. The most powerful part, in my opinion, is:

. . . change your truth easily and quickly when your experience brings you new clarity.

In relationships, some times your truth changes. For instance, you may have once wanted to be in a committed, monogamous relationship but your truth changed one day and you now may want the experience of being single. Without question, this truth is difficult to express to another. However, doesn't speaking your truth give more honor to the love you may have shared with your partner?

How many times have you been in a relationship and your mate behavior begins to change and you are never told why? Perhaps the relationship ended because of this change in behavior?

A friend recently spoke to me about the importance of bringing honorable closure in a relationship. My friend talked about not letting the relationship simply dissipate like water trickling out of a bucket with a small hole in it. Instead, it is important to acknowledge aloud to each other that it is time to end the relationship. An honorable closure enables you to both acknowledge the importance of the experience you had together and then be able to move on with integrity.

How you speak and live your truth is a testimony to who you are on this journey. Would not the journey be more enjoyable if we each had the courage, honor and integrity to have our spoken truth in alignment with the truth we live?

Journey in Relationships

Best-selling author, motivational speaker, Iyanla Vanzant says that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Those coming into your life for a defined reason, I call Pit Stop Buddies. The seasonal folks, I referred to as Mile Marker Mates and those in for the long term are Lifelong Travelers. The purpose in identifying people in your life using these designations is to determine what role these relationships pay in your life journey. Are they there to teach you a specific lesson then move on? Are they there for a span of time? Are they there for a lifetime experience?

Pit Stop Buddies
It may be a chance meeting, divine synchronicity or as the saying goes, “Two ships that pass in the night.” These encounters happen relatively swiftly and while brief, they are intense. You feel some kind of connection to this person. You may connect in a way that makes you remark, “It feels like we have known each other forever.” It is not only in romantic relationship this type of synergy happens. You and the Pit Stop Buddy could be coworkers, neighbors or participants in similar activities. You hit it off right from the start; so much so, you may begin to think it would be hard to imagine your life without that person. Then the relationship ends as quickly as it began.

You may be left wondering what happened and why. The experience may feel like a roller coaster ride: exhilarating, exciting and . . . over in a flash. Although the Pit Stop Buddy entrance and exit are swift, s/he may leave an indelible mark on you. The swift ending may leave you feeling confused, betrayed or angry.

It is important to allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. Suppressing or denying your feelings can lead to a host of other challenges physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. A good tool to use to sort those feelings out is journaling.

Once you sort those feelings out it is also helpful to do some reflecting and introspection. What did the Pit Stop Buddy bring to your life? What lasting mark did s\he make? Did you learn something new about your self? Did you venture outside of your comfort zone and try something new? You may find it helpful to consider these questions while doing a meditation.

Mile Marker Mates
When you are traveling, there a mile markers along the way that indicate how far you have traveled and how many miles are remaining. For example, the marker may read, “2/12“ which indicates that the road you traveling on is 12 miles long and you have traveled 2 miles thus far. When you get to another road the count begins anew.

As you travel the journey of life, you encounter Mile Marker Mates who are in your life for a span of time. As you travel together, it feels right. It feels good. It is mutually beneficial. Then it ends.

The ending is not abrupt like with the Pit Stop Buddy. The relationship with the Mile Marker is one that runs its course. For example, you may have been close college buddies and once college is over you each go your separate ways to continue the next leg of you journey on different paths.

As much as it may be clear to both of you that it is time to part, it still may bring up difficult emotions. One or both of you may find it hard to accept that your respective journeys are taking you in different directions.

Lifelong Travelers
The Lifelong Traveler is on your journey for 20 years or more. Counted in this group may be your parents, children or siblings. It could also be your spouse, life partner or a childhood friendship that spans into adulthood. These folks have experience the depth and breadth of your journey. They were there for the valley and mountaintop experiences.

Do not be misled by the label however. Lifetime Travelers may at some point no longer be on your path. Of course, it could be the result of a death but it also could be that after two decades or more, the two of you head in different directions.

It is also important not to assume that Lifelong Travelers are better than Pit Stop Buddies or Mile Marker Mates. Conversations with God, the best-selling book by Neale Donald Walsch puts it this way,

“Try not to confuse longevity with a job well done. Remember, your job on the planet is not to see how long you can stay in a relationship. It’s to decide and experience Who You Really Are.”

When you know whether a person on your journey of life is a Pit Stop Buddy, Mile Marker or Lifetime Traveler, you can better experience Who You Really Are within that relationship. In all relationships, you are there to do inner work, to find your authentic self and live out your life journey on purpose.